Yep, the words you see above are downright crazy. Some might even say stupid. But when God speaks, I tend to listen. Don't give me that look! I always listen, but I may not always obey, especially in crazy times such as this. But here we are. The call has been made and it's time I answer.
"But Charlie, WHY?!" The last time you guys adopted, it sent you into a tail spin of debt and stress. The only reason you sold a house you're happy in is to settle your debt. And now...NOW you want to set yourself up for that again?!!!"
So to answer my own questions above...in one word, youredamnright.
Sorry for the whole "damn" thing, but it feels appropriate. When you've fought something you know is right for so long, you tend to cuss. Well, I do. Sorry Mom and Dad.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not approaching this whole adoption thing, like "It's ok if we build up a bunch of debt for an adoption. Let's break out the credit card apps and roll, baby!" I know we have to change some things to change some lives and (Becca, cover your ears) if that means skipping some rounds of golf or a guys weekend trip, that's ok. (Becca. Becca! You can uncover your ears now.)
So let's go back to that whole "Why?" thing. Again...in one word, Jeremiah. Yes, my little Ethiopian Prince. My sweet, fiery son who's purpose, at least in his younger years (prayerfully), has been to teach me patience. To teach me that I'm still able to pull my hair out even right after I shave my head. To teach me that I can hear the same question 57 times in 15 minutes without putting my fist through a wall. To teach me that crying and screaming in a very public place such as Target, Church and wherever you might imagine is tolerable...to a degree. To teach me that getting hit or kicked in the "man area" is tolerable (yes, vomit is forming in my mouth at the very thought). But above all...my son has taught me that I can love any child God has called me to, as my own.
"We get it, Charlie. You love your son...he's cool...yada yada yada, but why would you risk falling back into debt?" Oh, that pesky question!!!
Ok, you might be a little frustrated with my answer, but here we go... Why not? Yes, why friggin not?!!! Look, I get frustrated with the stress of life and sometimes even with my family. I fly off the handle. I cuss. I bitch. I moan. I look at other men who are single and sometimes envy them because their lives seem a bit more carefree. I struggle with stuff I know I shouldn't. I screw up and don't have things in order nearly at much as I would like. But if I wait for the point where I'm perfect, before I actually help someone, I'll help no one because it will never happen.
So again...Why not? You see, God has given me a heart to love on people. A heart to pick children up who may not know what's going on, even though a big nasty world is crumbling all around them. A heart to do right, even when I can't muster the energy to do so (I rarely succeed in this area). A heart to do something that may be seen as foolish in the eyes of the world because I feel called to (again...I rarely succeed in this area). Really...a heart for those who are hurting because I've been someone who has hurt. I know the burn. I know the regret. I know the sorrow and the longing for something better.
Now that last paragraph isn't a "Praise Me"sort of thing. Trust me...I fall short plenty more times than I do well.
What I'm trying to explain here is that I'm far from perfect, but it seems foolish not to help someone. Knowing my love for my own children, it seems foolish not to offer that same love to another child.
So here's where you come in...help us out. Look, adoption is extremely expensive and I could easily buy the truck of my dreams for less than the cost of adopting a sweet child. But I don't want your money, unless you feel called to help us out in that way. What I really want is your prayers. Throw our names and desires up to the heavens if you will. Anytime you see a helpless or downtrodden individual, pray for them and after that, pray for our next child. Heck, if it helps, pray for a sweet soul who will run up and hit or kick me in the "junk." Ahhh...I can see I've stuck a cord. So whatever it takes to inspire you, please lift our family up in prayer and ask for wisdom as to where our fourth child lies and how God can provide a way to get to him or her.
From the bottom of my heart, I thank you. Cheers to many more years of providing love to the little ones in our lives and cheers to you for joining us in this adventure.