Thursday, March 24, 2016
“It doesn’t make sense! Why would they charge you so much money for helping a child? It’s almost like they’re punishing you for doing good.” These are questions and statements we hear all the time and I’ll admit, the first time we adopted, I didn’t really have a good answer to the big, “Why so much?” question.
This amount does seem a bit crazy and after hearing the questions from so many people, you start to feel the same way. But here’s the deal, it absolutely makes sense.
Why? I won’t get into the gross, messy details, but let me tell you… Adoption fraud is real and the ones who suffer most from this are orphans or in some cases, children who aren’t even true orphans. Basically, something as sweet as adoption can be turned into a dirty, for-profit business.
So here’s the real story behind our adoption ransom…
Some of our adoption fees, both from the U.S. and India sides, goes to investigate Baby A’s background to make sure she is a true orphan. A good agency will interview a child’s family and anyone else who may have knowledge as to whether or not a child is a true orphan to make sure everything is legit. They check backstories and check them again to make sure there is no error behind how the child became an orphan.
From there, the money goes into our background checks, home studies where they interview the entire family (including children), passports, visas, travel and the list goes on and on.
What I’m basically trying to say is this… Every cent of Baby A’s ransom went toward protecting her and isn’t that what matters in this whole thing?
Protection, healing and growth are our number one priority for Baby A so much to the point that, not having met her, we would give our lives for her this very second. That sounds like a big boast, but it’s complete truth and here’s why… Because we want to comfort and guide her through the many months she’s spent without that parental protection and love… and we will offer that protection to her every day of her life and love her along the way.
While the dollar amount surrounding her adoption may seem ludicrous, please know it’s a ransom we would gladly pay for her or anyone of our children again and again. They deserve to live in a place of safety, so their innocence can be protected. Wouldn’t you pay the same ransom for your children?
I don’t blame anyone for asking such questions or even being shocked at the amount, but I do want people to be encouraged when they hear that amount and know that the adoptive parents, when all is said and done, won’t regret paying a single penny toward completing their family. In the end, their child will someday be home, or is already home and no amount of money in the world could ever replace that.
Ransom Paid…Baby’s Home…and Now They Can Dream About The Future Together. What else matters?
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
“You’re saving a child? You’re so amazing!” This is often what Becca and I hear from a lot of folks, when we tell them we’re adopting. It’s a nice thing for people to say and while we appreciate the kind words, they can sometimes get to your head. I’ll admit, there have been times I’ve walked away from those conversations with my chest puffed up and my ego on high.
But here’s the truth… We’re not heroes or saviors or even wonderful, amazing people. We’re two married people with the same thing placed on our hearts by God and while we realize we’re helping this sweet baby who has very little, we know we will be far more blessed by Baby A than she will be by us. We knew that before bringing Jeremiah home 6 years ago and he has proven it time and time again. So much so, that he’s the second biggest reason why we chose to go through the long, agonizing journey of adoption again.
The first reason why we chose to adopt again? God. This is further proof why we’re no saviors. This wasn’t a decision Becca and I thought of one day and said, “Hey, lets go save a baby.” Why? Well, we’re very busy and both of us work a few jobs to try to maintain our financial well-being. We like staying in our comfort-zone and the thought of adding anything to our plates isn’t necessarily attractive to us.
We’re as screwed up as anyone else out there. We’re selfish and prideful and we screw up a lot…me more so than Becca.
The fact is God put this adoption and Baby A on our hearts. It was Him! She was born out of our hearts because, for one reason or another, God saw fit to bless us with her. She is a gift straight from Him to us and she will continue to be as long as we live. The only role, although very hard at times, we play in this whole process is that we chose to be obedient to what He called us to.
While it’s been difficult for us at many times over the last 2+ years, He’s stood right beside us and has gone before us throughout this entire journey. You want a hero in this whole story? Look up.
Make no mistake, we appreciate those kind words and encouragement. We really do! And know we don’t walk around thinking we’re terrible people, unworthy of a “Good job” every once in a while. We know we are doing some good in the world, but we want the credit and praise placed not on us, but right where it belongs… and that’s on the One Who put this whole crazy plan in motion.
We thank God for this opportunity to parent such a sweet little innocent child and again, know she will teach us far more than we could ever imagine… and that’s honestly all we could hope or ask for through being her parents.